6 May 2019
The TCrBF Board of Damagers are pleased to report:
This year, the festival brought more smiles and frowns than ever!
Also, since some things are best when chilled
(so that you can't taste them),
we were especially pleased to get 30 seconds of ice from the sky.
instead of the promised rain.
All hail Crap Beer!
And, as always,
were much appreciated.
- the various contributions - glorious worldwide Crap,
- all our sick and twisted visitors,
- and the usual huge after-party
TCrBF just wouldn't be the shame without you.
See you next beer! Allegedly.
- The Shtaff
3 May 2019
---> I t ' s
a l m o s t
h e r e ! <---
It might be wet outside, so let's make it wet inside too!
29 April 2019
Cr'day, mate! We have a special t(h)reat for you.
Some choice Crap has floated in...
from about as low as you can go: Down Under.
22 April 2019
We found this puppy* in the KKKelder, gazing at us
longingly from its big bottle. So we took it home with us. We might let you PET it, if
you clean up its mess afterward.
* Some puppies will tear your face off. Further
studies are required.
What the Internets are saying about it, two sample reviews:
“A tick's a tick!”
“From the first arousing glance, from the
first sensual taste, from
the first exquisite drop, [this beer] is everything I ever dreamed
of and more. I was a novice, an amateur, a child. I was in desperate
fulfillment and satisfaction. I felt alone and vulnerable.
day [...] i stumbled onto this magnificent beverage.
felt the unmatched liquid caress my tongue [I] suddenly felt warmth.
Not the kind of warmth you feel from a cosy jumper or a hot fire, but
the kind of
warmth that touches your soul and all of sudden i just knew everything
would be ok.
Experiencing [this beer] was a flawless experience that changed my
I have no idea how to thank the makers of this fine beer but i hope
is the start.
10 April 2019
Today I am pleased to announce a contribution by
someone who either really loves us or really hates
the Hostess with the Mocnes.
Oh yes, there's a mocne in there, praised online thus:
“Pours nicely, piss yellow. Foams nicely. Smells like one week old underwear.
Acceptable after a bottle of vodka in good company. Good price per alkohol %.”
But it gets even better, or at least bigger:
Our panel of beer experts has awarded one of these drinkies a rating of 10 out of 10 for strength.
Choice words from The Internet about it:
“[bleeping bleep] can of [bleep]!”
“Crazy litre can. [...] Warming corn alcohol palate. Garbage, awful.”
“Aroma of cooked vegetables. Taste is sweet veggies, light sewage.”
The latest entry in the TCrBF countdown...
15 March 2019
is brought to you by
That's right, we'll be offering you a set of four lovelies -
goodbadness from the vast
crap fields of the United States.
You can look forward to four pours of pure artificial flavours
galore, from about as far as you can get from orthodox brewing.
Stay tuned for more of what's in store.
Prepare to abandon hope, ye who want this (not-quite-)beer!
7 March 2019
OUR LATEST ENTRY:
We don't know what to think of this one. But someone online
“Pretty disgusting thing...”
We can't wait!
17 February 2019
We do, at least a couple of alkohols. Two big containers are now
waiting to be emptied into non-discerning mouths in just a couple months. We can't
even spell it, let alone enjoy it!
5 February 2019
Our CRAP warehouse is ready!
And there is already one top-
We are proud to announce that this one's A REAL TURKEY.
1 November 2018
It's now official:
The unofficial festival date is 4 May,
the time should be fairly predictable,
and we'll stick with the same venue, Kultuurikatel
It takes many months to plan
something so crap,
and we need YOUR HELP if we wish to remain
the Baltic region's best worst beer festival evar!
So start stockpiling those horrid drinks now,
and drop us a note about them!
Archived updates from the 2018 festival can be found here...